[[*---divinition's anecdote---*]]

Sunday, October 16, 2005

+Illusion - Benni Benassi+

these few days have been a total waste of time on my part.. been just rotting the hours away.. my sociology mid-term exam is coming up on wednesday.. i thought that there was going to be essay questions but luckily i heard there will only be MCQ.. hahah.. THANK GOD LA FOR THAT.. hehehe.. so yeah, i spent saturday and today studying some sociology.. hehe.. miracle? well, let's just say i want to protect my parent's investments in me.. hehe

the hype of PMR is over.. thinking back of my time in school, i realise that that part of my life is now over. bad memories, good memories, all have passed and will only now reside as a part of my experiences.. will now only be some bittersweet thoughts when i'm bored.. i remember in form 3 when i was still not as fucked up as i am now.. but still, constantly getting on Pn. Alina's nerves for not doing her karangan.. remember sometimes getting on mrs. Bashir's nerves as well.. (was really cocky thinking back now.. hehe.. because i simply thought my english language skills were more than adequate for form 3 levels.. :P )

then i also remember that that was the year my heart was crushed for the first time.. i fell out with the closest person in the world to me at that time.. i also remember the teachers having high expectations for me in PMR as well.. in the end, also let them down.. hmmm.. and i'm still here, not learning my lesson.. still frequenting pool centres and hanging out more with friends than my books.. is that right? i know it's not.. but what can i do? really, if you were in my shoes.. i'm literally incapable of correcting my deviant ways.. i guess that my devil conscience still surpases that of my angel side.. hehehe..

coming to think about it.. my life currently is all about things that aren't related to studies.. my life is like going to college, but not to study, instead only to meet friends. i've tried changing.. and it's brought me nothing but guilt. i can't help it.. anyone who know's me can say that.. wah.. eric is the person who really got study wan lo.. but is it true? i might be better than my friends, but to myself.. my own expectations.. my parent's expectations.. they're all wayyyyyyyy below par..

hmmm.. i guess i'll have to buckle up.. it's been ermm.. lemme see... 2 weeks since i last skipped my class.. the teachers have begun to notice that i'm improving in class, but still below average.. this is SO SO not me.. i'm not used to underperforming!! i mean.. i am la.. but not by that big a margin..

arrrgghh!!!

help me.... :(

oh, btw.. ju's party was great.. hehe.. albeit some parts which were a teeny bit boring.. hehe.. and ju, your neighbour is super cute.. wahahahaah..