then today, went blog surfing.. and took a while, but it finally loaded and played in alllyy's blog.. so as i was reading her post, the catchy tune caught my attention again.. the more i listened, the more i liked it..
and now, after listening and thinking properly, i feel that i would be saying those words one day.. i found the lyrics ESPECIALLY meaningful.. it's about a guy who looks at his old photographs and thinks back on the occasions when he took them.. meaningful events, such as his happy days, his homeland, his school, the fun innocence he experience when he was little, then his love..
these days i've been so immersed in trance and dance music that i've begun to lose sight of songs that really have true meaning.. songs that really relate to our lives, just like this one.. this really is a song that i can sing my whole life.. officially my favourite song now..
coming to think of it.. memories are so important.. in my opinion, they're the driving force behind our lives.. without memories from our past, we wouldn't know how to live the future.. i've had my share of good and bad memories.. as i took another step in my life by entering college, i closed the chapter on an eventful childhood.. the baby steps towards my adulthood has shown me that life is now COMPLETELY different..
ever felt like you wanna forget everything bad that has ever happened to you? ever felt like you wanted to erase that moment of negativeness in yourself? don't. thinking about it.. think with me here.. don't you think that bad memories are just as important as good ones? however painful, however difficult to swallow, the truth is just that.. i know this sounds somewhat far fetched to some ppl and MAYBE this is only applicable to me, but this is how i feel..
but for one to choose between the 2, of course good memories prevail.. good memories are the things that keep you going.. that keep the flame of life burning.. and i've had my share.. plenty of them.. my friends, my family, the births of my cousins (babies always bring a smile to my face.. [but not when they ermm.. take a shit.. teeheee..]) and also my ex-gfs.. i think the happiest moment in my life was when my gfs and I officially got together and the limited times we shared.. i mean, those memories are the ones to cherish.. the ones to put a smile to your face when you're down..
memories last a lifetime.. you guys wanna know something? i have thought of suicide. there was a time, when i felt that the pressure of just merely existing was too much for me to bear.. when my studies were plummetting, me and my parents were not in good terms at all, i still hadn't gotten over my ex, and a host of other small issues bundled together creating a giant ball of anger and frustration building inside of me.. i really had thoughts of no longer existing.. i thought the reason why i felt that way was because i didn't wanna burden those around me.. my friends, my parents.. i was ashamed to be their son, i felt like i was outcasted frm my friends.. but in reality, deep down i knew that the real reason why i wanted to end my life was because i couldn't even stand myself.. i couldn't look in the mirror and said i was useless.. it didn't help that i'm the type of person that always keeps everything, every single bad and negative emotion inside, hiding all my anger and slowly building them up.. to some of you, this might seem cheapo and too little to be contemplating suicide, but it was sure as hell enuff for me.. (pun intended)
i was a fool. a fool who didn't think. a fool who was a selfish brat. who only thought of himself.. then came the memories.. memories are the reason i'm still here typing.. both the good and bad ones.. bad memories which i wanted to repair, and good memories which i wanted to repeat all kept me here.. i might seem farfetched writing this but this is the truth..
and i believed. i believed that there was going to be better times. and indeed, it came. i found my friends again.. i found the answer to releasing my ex.. i found that life is much more than mulling over my studies, pleasing my family, pleasing myself.. it was also about filling the lives of other people.. people who enjoyed my company.. people who wanted to be with me, who loved me.. then i thought about all this if i hadn't knocked some common sense back into me..
i have one of the closest knit friendships a person could have and i wonder what both parties could be missing out.. i have also a closely knitted family and i wonder how would life be without me.. a lot less quieter and sadder i would say.. then i also think about my ex and me.. though short, our relationship was full of eventful times, times i won't forget, and times i would love to forget but i won't..
there.. memories, my true saviour from doom. to all who i know, preserve your memories..
(fuck man.. why has this post turned into an emo thing??? hahahhaa.. and ironically, i'm doing a survey on suicide now.. :P )
edit: omggg.. i just remembered a song i wanted to download.. the first time i heard it, i felt super like.. ermm.. touched? it's such a good love song.. John Legend - Ordinary People. it might be old la.. i'm not sure when it came out.. i heard it only recently.. really meaningful songs.. this is dedicated to all couples reading this that sometimes hate their bf/gf.. most of the times have fights.. take it slow man..
Name:Eric ã¨ãªãã¯
Bdae:6887
Nicks:divinition, Savant
Place of Knowledge: - none -
Contact:linkinpark8@hotmail.com
[[ My Adores ]]
Food: Japanese. Without a doubt. (and chocolate..)
Drinks: Limau Ais.
Pastimes: Pool, Foos, MSN, tv, and friends. :D
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[[ My Detests ]]
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Things: (Yet to be assertained.)
Food: Petai, brinjal, bitter gourd. Ugghhhh...
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